July 25th – 613,394

I’m trying to work out how I managed to write anything at all today, despite actually getting 3,059 words input through the keyboard. Okay, it helped it was a very dialogue heavy chapter, the conversation setting up the story while at the same time referencing the previous two books in the trilogy, something I find trips off the end of my fingers like dancing letters. I make far more spelling mistakes as I’m writing this kind of scene too, because I’m thinking two or even three sentences ahead of my fingers. By then end of the page it sometimes looks like the entire page is covered in red and blue squiggly lines – although I do stop and correct them at that point.

No, my problem today relates back to last night. As I said Marion had a bad fall a couple of days ago and last night was wincing and almost yelping just trying to get into bed, let alone get comfortable enough to sleep. It’s one of those situations where you can have little impact in terms of help, and that is incredibly frustrating. She did however settle down, and because she found one comfortable position, she stayed in it, throughout the night – again unusual. Her breathing was shallow enough that I couldn’t hear it either, and the combination unnerved my subconscious.

I spent the whole night, lying there, watching and listening for the slightest movement, making sure she was still with me, despite knowing she hadn’t suffered any life-threatening injuries. On the odd occasion I went to sleep for a few minutes, I found myself jerking awake to watch and listen again, and at the same time forcing myself not to touch her, make her jump, cause her pain or wake her up. She is of course, a lot better today, not back to normal yet, but a lot better nevertheless.

As an end result I am totally shattered today, a spent force, with little inclination to do anything – which is how I find it hard to comprehend I hit just over 3k before lunch.

Everything though was snapped into perspective when I saw the horrific images from the train crash in Spain. The trackside image of the actual crash, even if the clip only lasted three seconds, was truly horrible to see. My heart goes out to the victims and their families.